Parent Provider Partnerships
RESPECT
Parent Provider Partnership Tip Sheets
Ask any parent, provider or teacher what the hardest thing about working with children is and eventually the discussion will come down to the bottom line: Developing a partnership for raising a child together. Roxy’s Foods and Crafts is offering a new service to parents and to providers. Each month we will send our customers a tip sheet offering both the provider and the parent’s perspective on one of the challenges faced in developing this partnership for the sake of the child. Customers have permission to reprint this worksheet for distribution to their parents or providers to facilitate building this partnership.
Respect:
When asked what the most difficult challenge of running a family child care home is, there appears to be a common thread in the answers received. Undoubtedly in every group of providers three answers are always among the reasons given:
¨ Paperwork
¨ The continual increase in regulations by either the Food Program or DHS
¨ Working with parents. It is not working with the children that is difficult, it is working with the parents that is burning me out. They just don’t respect my policies.
When talking to parents about why they switch child care programs, there also appears to be a common thread in the answers received. Undoubtedly amongst the answers heard are the following:
¨ I couldn’t afford the child care program.
¨ I don’t feel the needs of either my child or me are being met. I just don’t feel respected.
The primary purpose of developing these tip sheets is to assist providers and parents in developing a “Partnership”, a relationship that works for both with the ultimate result in best meeting the needs of a child. Let’s deal with the above concerns of both parties from each stake holder's perspective.
1. Paperwork:
Well, we hear you. The paperwork required to run a business is demanding, can be unrewarding, but is definitely a necessary evil. Let’s focus just a moment on the positives of the paperwork. By being organized, this can be the most valuable tool a provider has in gaining the respect necessary in building relationships with parents. Keeping up to date accurate records helps you track all year what your income is and offers an ongoing comparison to expenses. It allows you to see if you are operating in the black or in the red, what times of the year are the most profitable, thus to budget and pay your major expenses at those times of the year. For example, if you have larger income during the summer, because you stay open and you provide school age care, you may want to set up your liability insurance and prepay your curriculum costs for the upcoming year. Good records maintained month by month, also provides you with better documentation in having discussions with parents regarding your costs of doing business and how you need to set your child care rates as you do.
Well, many of us work hard to make compliance with Food Program or DHS regulations easier to understand or to simplify the requirements as much as possible. One of the first steps toward developing respect is to have trust. I trust that USDA and DHS do no arbitrarily establish regulations to make our jobs more difficult. The regulation changes have been established to protect the Food Program from those who would attempt to defraud the program and cost honest providers this valuable educational and financial resource. The DHS regulations added lately have been for the protection of children. Increased training in child development, use of child safety restraints for providers who transport children, having at least one person on staff present who has had CPR and First Aid training. While compliance may be expensive, challenging and at times inconvenient, most of us understand how this protects children. What surprises us most is that when providers say that parents don’t understand how much more difficult compliance with these regulations make their jobs, most parents we have talked to say that they were unaware that these regulations have been passed in the last couple of years. It is amazing how many parents do not know about the licensing fees and background check fees their providers have had to pay. Communication.
It is unfair to blame someone for not understanding that child care rates need to increase or to be angry when parents pay late, when parents have actually been asked, “What do you think your provider does with the money she earns?” Parents have actually answered, “Well, it is her spending money. She buys some toys and presents for the children.” Or, “I see the size of some of those checks she gets, man, she makes a bundle on child care.” There is a huge difference in any business between “Gross” and “Net” income. While it is not suggested that you need to provide all of the detail of your business income and expenses, a little more information so that a parent understands that the check that is written to you is necessary to cover a large number of business related expenses. Quality child care is expensive. Not everyone knows that.
3. Working with parents. It is not working with the children that is difficult, it is working with the parents that is burning me out. They just don’t respect my policies.
When this was given careful consideration, it sounds a lot like what the parents were saying. Their needs were not being met; they did not feel respected. The most important part of this to consider is that we most often hear this in training when feelings are being vented or when a family has already been terminated from a program. This is also the saddest part. It is too late to go back. What the desired remedy to all of this is in prevention.As a parent, if you feel disrespected or you are concerned that your child’s needs are not being met, ask yourself “Why, do I feel this way?” Then sit down and write down what has occurred to make you feel this way or what you are not seeing or experiencing. Then, when you are calm and have respectfully requested a time to have a discussion with your provider that allows for appropriate time and attention for a private discussion, have that talk. Share your feelings and thoughts. “I feel… or I have noticed… or I wish I could see more…because that would make me more comfortable that … (need)...I have or my child has was being met.”As a provider, if you feel disrespected or some need you or your business is not being met, do the same thing. Write down what you are feeling, what policy is not being followed, what you need to have happen, and set up a time to have that discussion with the parent. Make a plan that you can both live with and decide who is responsible for each part of that plan and follow through.The key is to be prepared for a discussion. A discussion is when both parties can share their perspectives in a respectful way. Go into the discussion with the idea that there are two perspectives that are both worth listening to. Not all problems can be solved to the agreement of both parties. You may decide that a child care situation is not the best answer for you or the family, but it is better and more likely to be resolved positively if you work on concerns early and not let problems or feelings fester until a respectful conversation can not be possible.
