Children With Problems At Home
What a blessing little ones are, and they are so innocent too. Yet some adults are so wrapped up with their own problems and hang ups that they don’t realize their actions are having an impact on what is happening to their children. As providers we are given the opportunity to help children learn how to express their feelings. We can also help parents to gently point out things that children may struggle to express to them or that the parents fail to notice.
Children of all ages sometimes begin to act things out or display anger over things and issues that they don’t know how to express. It may be things they see or hear happening at their homes and figure it’s okay to do the same things with their friends or other people around them. Some actions or aggressions may come from jealousy over a lifestyle they are envious of and some children act out due to fear.
In day care we will get children from all kinds of homes. Homes where there is yelling, separation, divorce, drug or alcohol problems, and death. Maybe they are adjusting to a new stepparent or a parent who has started dating again. These children have real issues with trust and can be very challenging, as individuals as well as with other children in your care.
When a child comes into your care carrying all this baggage you are the one who can give them a wonderful gift, a simple gift of just listening to their problems, being there with a hugs, and sharing a part of yourself and your family. This love can help take the weight of the world off their shoulders and give them a sense of belonging. It can also show children that not everyone yells and hurts. I’m not saying they won’t give you a run for your money by yelling, hurting others, or throwing tantrums, but if your are consistence in how you care for them and let them know you will love them no matter what, in time they will open up. Each child is different and some take longer than others to open up. If you are lucky you will have a parent that sees what is going on and will help you.
I once had a child that stole things from school. I knew this because the balls he would bring home all had the schools name stamped on them. After talking with the school and his parent I sent the balls back with him in the morning to school and they had the teacher meet him at the bus. He got a good talking to, his parent got very upset and they removed him from my day care. Years later this same young man came to my door to say thank you for doing that and he wished I lived closer so I could care for his son. Even his parents knew I did the right thing. Even when you may not know how things turn out, if you do what you feel is right for the child, things will turn out. Sometimes you change those little lives forever and they won’t forget you for it. You can make a difference.
I also had a parent who had this thing about their child had to be spotless all the time and would dress them in white. This poor child was scared to play in fear they would get dirty. Well! Thanks to garage sales we had clothes they could change into to play outside in the dirt and I would wash them every day. It was printed in my newsletter that clothes were offered for all children if they needed them for any reason. Sometimes we just have to work around the issues and bite our tongues. This parent learned that she was too strict when one day as she came to pick up her child the child started to cry because his outfit had just gotten dirty right before Mom.
As care givers we are given the opportunity to do many things, such as listening, loving, and making a difference. Changing one of these small lives could change the world. Make a difference today. Keep up the good job guys!
