Day Care And The Difficult Child

 

 

 

I’m sure you have all come across some challenging children in your day care. They come in and turn your day care upside down for minutes or even days at a time.  It never fails that they’ll pick the worst time possible to act up, such as a visit from your licensing agent.  Hopefully you’re lucky enough to have just one of these challenging children at a time.  Often times we are the first structured environment these kids are exposed to so we have to use a few basic principles to make things a little easier for everyone involved.

 

It’s a well known fact that the disciplinary approach parent’s use during the first three years of their child’s life is critical. It will influence not only how a child learns to distinguish right from wrong but also how well adjusted and self-assured the child will ultimately be.  I’m sure that you, as well as many other provider’s have noticed that a child is very well behaved at your home, but when their parent, or any parent shows up they turn into a different child that can make you pull your hair out.  What can you do?

 

I’ve found that stabilizing their environment can really change their behavior for the better.  Consistency really helps so set some rules and some consequences if they are broken and stick to them.  This consistency will invariably cut down on the number of times a child refuses to cooperate.  Stick to your routine but be prepared to be flexible because special circumstance might require a change in schedule. If your day care doesn’t have a routine you can expect chaos and without clear expectations a child will never know how serious a parent is when they tell a child it’s time to do something.

 

I let the children help create rules and they seem to try really hard to make day care run smoothly when they have a part in what happens.

 

Helping kids to realize that you need them is a great starting point. Kids today often don’t feel needed because parents do so much for them. Making children a part of things inspires cooperation.

 

Prepare children for what comes next.  I’m careful to explain what they need to do every time a situation changes. Instead of just saying clean up after your self the child should be told exactly what clean up means in different situations. If you are going to have visitors let them know what kind of behavior you expect.  If you want children to be more responsible you must give them opportunities to help you, and then allow them enough time to accomplish the task. The tasks and their importance should increase as they get older.

 

One way kids recognize success is by being complimented for it.  A simple “thank you” can put a smile on their face and stickers are a great reward too.  Children really do want to please adults so praise them often, especially if it’s a behavior you want to encourage.

 

It’s always quicker and easier to do something yourself rather than to wait while a child does it slowly, but by involving them and then rewarding their efforts you’ll create an atmosphere of cooperation and success and a better behaved child is the result.

 

Let the parents know what you’re doing and ask for their cooperation at home.  Tell them how important it is for their child as well as your day care.  Good Luck!

 

Patti Jo Lawrenz

pjltips@aol.com