The Silent Child
From time to time you’ll have children in your care that are very quiet or have a limited vocabulary. Should we be concerned as a provider? Should we bring the issue up to the parent, if they haven’t said anything about it? This can be a hard subject to address depending on the parent’s personality.
Parents see their children as perfect, we all do. If we cloud that picture of a perfect child they may take it the wrong way.
Watching for a short time and documenting the problem will help when you present it to the parents. If the child is new to your day care that makes it easier to address with the parents. The child might just be shy and is having a hard time opening up. On the other hand, they might have experienced an event in their life or are in a current situation that has caused this problem.
I once had a new child who sat for days on the sofa with her blanket and toys wrapped around her with out saying a word, she never cried but watched everything going on. The only time she would get down was to eat or go potty. I didn’t push it; we sang and talked to her even if she didn’t answer. I talked with the parents privately over the phone so the child didn’t over hear and just to understand better, I asked why they left their last day care. With a little patience everything worked out. In a few days she was playing and in a few weeks she was talking up a storm. Sometimes it just takes awhile for them to trust you and their new friends.
I had a new child start, a really sweet four year old, and everyone struggled to understand her speech. She was very sensitive and if anyone tired to correct her she would cry. We started playing sound repeat games as a group. We sang more songs and read more books. I also asked the older children to help by being teachers for my toddlers. We used picture dictionaries or storybooks and they would point to an object and say what it was. The older ones took great pride in helping and it took the focus off the child who struggled with her speech. By the time she went in to see the speech doctor they said she was doing great and not to worry. Sometimes it just takes a little and it helps to make the learning fun. Often the sillier the learning is the quicker a child will pick a skill up. My husband would change songs verses and she would correct him.
Best developmental results occur when you can start with a very young child, as young as six weeks. By talking, reading, and repeating sounds to them, these children will develop a large vocabulary, and they will use it.
Even though little one don’t speak it doesn’t mean they don’t understand. One day they will take off speaking two or three words together. I also use sign language with my little ones and sometimes they sign before they can talk. Children who sign generally start to speak even earlier than non-signing children. This also helps keep a child’s frustration level down by allowing them to communicate even before they can speak.
Some research indicates those children who learn how to communicate with signs as babies may have higher verbal, reading and writing skills later in childhood over the non-signing children. I’m not sure if this is so, but the benefit is it also exposes a child to a second language.
I also try hard to help the little ones to express themselves. If a child gets a toy taken away, encourage that child to tell the other child “I don’t like when you take my toys away, it makes me sad!” I encourage them to tell me if they need help. A good day care mom will keep talking, teaching, coaching, and helping their little ones to express themselves. And as they express themselves they will learn great speech and communication skills.
If you have a silent child in your care remind the parents that most school districts have a screening service available, possibly at no cost.
Patti Jo Lawrenz
pjltips@aol.com
